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Four years now.
Today was my breast MRI. It wasn't fun. They are scanning my chest, obviously. And in order for their scan to come out right I need to hold perfectly still. Unfortunately, my lungs are not down with this plan. They think they need to breathe. And we had fun with veins, again, trying to find a place to put the IV. More and more, I want to go back to the nurse who put the pic line in my one good vein in my elbow and throttle her. I don't think she was thinking much about what the rest of my life with needles and blood would be like.
I think the main part is all the emotion this brings up. The IVs and scans and such aren't so bad, but all the what ifs they bring up are very scary. It's almost as if I have a built in "Hey, time to check in with your worst fears!" appointment along with it.
So.... worst fears stared down. Check. Another year please. And can we please get the thermography thing going? Although I am happier to live through many more MRIs as it means I am alive, it would be great to have an option that doesn't involve radiating the body or injecting me with chemicals or trying not to breathe for an hour. Which reminds me- who's great idea was it to add more radiation to our lives with these new airport scanners? I'm ranting now, but man. I have so far "opted out" and gotten a pat down every time. Please join me. If we refuse to walk through them, the airport security will look for something else. I know they realize they aren't good for you, because employees (pilots and attendants) and children don't have to go through them.
Are the words, "It's probably fine" something you really want applied to you? It is no fun to be on the other side, with sickness in your body, and wonder what caused it. Probably, it's all those "fine" things all added up together.


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